Tony Leo Selvaraj in Gmaj7#9

Goodbye 2011

2011-12-30T03:08:00.002+08:00

The new year looms, shining at that corner, getting brighter while this year is getting dimmer, getting ready to say goodbye..

Got myself a new lappy and I promise, (yes I promise), I'll start blogging more often AND my first few posts will be about my Eurotrip! If God wills, I shall live and do this.. ;)

This year has been rather interesting in the way it unravels me layer by layer and boy do they hurt each time it happens but I am thanking each experience for it teaches me of who I used to be and what I have become. This year has been forgiving in that it has allow me to retrace my steps back to that place where I began to get lost. More to learn I'm sure and I am not looking forward to them but if it helps me get back to that place, I will want to go through it. This year has brought me closer to that place, my First Love.

2012, be kind.

On that note, Blessed New Year!!

It has been a while....

2011-10-17T20:25:00.001+08:00

I know! The reason why I stopped blogging for quite sometime now is because I haven't got the chance to fix my lappy. I've been wanting to buy a new one coz my lappy is 10 years old! Lol! So will get to it as soon as I get a new lappy! I know I've been wanting to blog about my experience in Europe!

Food and Cooking Galore!

2011-06-21T05:43:00.011+08:00

I was excited about checking out Nottingham but first, I need to accompany Carey to her Nottingham University to do her final submission interview and after that, I told myself we'll celebrate with a dinner somewhere nearby.

Now, the way to Nottingham in the bus from Hendon Way was about 3 hours and 15 minutes and the scene that greets you is just of farm houses and cattles and horses and sheep grazing everywhere! It's just like those pictures you see of English villages! :D

Anyway, Carey walks everywhere in Nottingham and she walks fast! For my sake, she goes slower than usual and I can see why people walk over here. It's cold and yet the sun beats on your skin making it very pleasant to walk around and because the air is not humid, you don't get sweaty which is awesome!

The unthinkable happened! The moment Carey's name was called for the interview, she walked down the steps and sprained her ankle!! They had to call another boy in first while she had to sit on a couch and I got a water bottle from the dispensing machine (which is 1.20pd) and put it near her ankle. It got swollen in a matter of minutes and she was under a lot of pain.

After the interview in which she did well irregardless, she said she could walk but she limped and after about a 100m, she said she was tired and so we got a cab from there back to Raleigh Park. It costs us 3.70pd and I immediately signed up for the post of Male Nurse! So, I literally had to be a caretaker for the host and it went on for the next 6 days! Thank God our Euro trip only begins a week later! Phew!

Guess what? I cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner the entire time!! Well, except at this very moment as she is cooking in the kitchen and I'm writing this blog! :p

Anyway, months back, I asked her what's that one dish from Malaysia that she misses a lot and she told me of this one Chinese New Year dish that her mom makes called Chye Choi. I'm like aaah.. I see and after that quietly called her mom and told her that I wanna learn how to cook it! :p So, the day came and her mom showed me how to cook it and a few days before I left, her mom got all the dry ingredients like mushroom, fungus, vermicelli and even the fermented soy paste ready for me! :D

So imagine Carey's surprise when I took out the dry ingredients to cook!! :D Here's the picture of the dish! It's a very nice, refreshing vegetarian dish that's full of goodness and wholesomeness! :D Carey said I passed the test and she finished it the next day all to herself! I have to be honest here and say that I thought I didn't really do a good job but hey, if the girl loves it, who am I to disagree yeah? :p

Chye Choi

The next day, I made chicken curry (of course I have to make an Indian dish right?? :p) which I learnt from my dad and mom! I brought the dry ingredients from Malaysia too! Funny though, I learnt a different style from my mom and a week later, a different style from my dad but I ended up having a chicken curry that tasted very much like my grandmother's! :P Muahahahah!! We enjoyed it thoroughly! :D

Indian style chicken curry

I also fried chicken Indian style and as you can see, we both were very happy with the outcome! :D We had it with rice and Naan bread which I bought from the super market (for 49p) :)

A happy galfie

I cooked many more other dishes which I just made up out of thin air.....not really but you get my drift? Here's some for you to look at and savor and get your air liur meleleh!

Sausages, Omelette and Crumpets! :D

I fried Chines style the vegetables and grilled sausages!

Carey had this Chinese-style Curry in a bottle and we started putting things in it because on it's own it tasted weird. It originally had apple sauce in it which makes me think it sounds more like English-style curry! :/ At the end, it tasted good and more Indian! muahahahahah!!

Oh! Tortelini with tomato sauce! :D Nice as well! :D

Me missing that chicken curry I made a few days later so I decided to put another picture of the Tony's Grandma's Chicken Curry! :D

The last but not the least, my favourite food of all time!!! WAFFLES WITH ICE CREAM!!! Wooohoooooooooooooooooo!!!!! :D :D :D

The Journey to Nottingham

2011-06-19T11:38:00.004+08:00

Hi! Greetings from Nottingham!

I took a flight (Air Asia) to London Standsted Airport last Monday. It took 13 and a half hours! It was the longest flight I've taken and to be honest, not really looking forward to the journey of going back because one, it's not that comfortable if you wanna sleep, two, it's just too noisy and three, it gets really cold at some point for a long period of time.

What did I do? I tried to sleep because the plan was to sleep 6 hours to get into Nottingham's time but failed twice! Only managed two and a half hour! Hahahaah.. Read two books at one go. Listened to music. Walked. Stood. Nothing. Glad it was over!

Got to the airport, bought Bailey's Hazelnut for Carey (only how do you type pounds??!13.99) and took the National Express which had WIFI which was gooooo!! Arrived at Hendon Way and waited for Bus #450 and had two hours to spare.

Hendon Way

It's a little place but a huge cultural melting pot as you can see people of different nationality here walking about. I walked into an electronics store to check out Bose ear monitors and 2 minutes later, the guy behind the counter said "We are closing". Gah! They close on time here actually. Anyway, was getting thirsty and walked into a grocery shop and for the life of me, couldn't understand why I couldn't understand anything written in there and just took a yogurt bottle (Don't ask me why) and was waiting at the line and admiring all the cold cut meat in the counter beside the cash register when it suddenly dawned on me! I was in a Polish grocery shop! Muahahahahahha!!! I quietly put the bottle back in it's place and walked out! Eeeee!!! hahahahah.. Managed to find my water (not really water but fizzled water) and waited until the bus came at 734pm.

The next journey took about 3 hours and 15 minutes to Nottingham Bus Station. Took a cab which looks like an oversized car with huge compartment between the driver's seat and the passenger's seat to Raleigh Park where Carey stayed. Finally, after slightly over 24 hours since I left home, I am at her doorstep!

Tony and Carey's Eurotrip

2011-06-12T14:46:00.001+08:00

The starting point: my house

My Thirty Second!

2011-05-30T18:49:00.001+08:00

It's my birthday today. Unlike last year, I've decided not to do anything about it. I'm not sure I can do this though. Being alone and not celebrating it. Ah! Just another few more hours to go before it ends anyway. I'm blessed that I've got more than 300 birthday wishes and emails in facebook and twitter! My girlfriend made it special by singing to me. Why is it special? She thinks she can't sing! So, it is a very big deal for her! How blessed am I? :D

May it be true.

2011-05-17T00:19:00.003+08:00

I have changed.

For the better? I can't tell. Time will eventually.

Going to London next month. Places I'll visit : Nottingham, London, Venice, Rome, Pisa, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, maybe a small town in Italy and hopefully Manchester as well as Glasgow.

One of my dreams come true..

Thank You!

February Intakes

2011-02-28T20:05:00.003+08:00

What a month February has been!

I have lost almost 6 kgs in which people would immediately recognise and it's a good feeling knowing people know the difference.

I have travelled to India for holidays with the family in particular Chennai, Bangalore, Salem, Ooty, Myesore (my favourite place!) and another place in which I can't really recall because I feel ill!

My plan to get diarrhea in India was err litterally pooped when I had food poisoning 5 days before going there!! gosh!! Funny enough, the day we reached there, my food poisoning was gone!! PTL!! lol! :p Food of course was great but one thing I learned about India is that, I am so blessed to have been born here in Malaysia!! lol! :p

I have been given the daunting task of being StART's new album producer which is slated to be released in September this year!! Exciting times!! :D

Of course, not everything is good as life would normally teaches us. As always, I am glad I'm not alone in this journey. I have Jesus who helps me and still is watching over me. *feels so loved!! :'D

see you maybe at the end of next month? ;p

blabering..

2011-01-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

i wanna go back to house music.. that's how i started.. shikes! so hard to keep a 10 man band together... i used to be able to dance from 7pm to 7am without popping a single ice into me to sustain.. i used to laugh looking at those people who think it's cool to take ice or anything to feel the music because if you have it in you, you feel it right away...you don't need ice or all those stuffs.. i like how u always say you get high just by dancing.. u kinda remind me of myself.. that's all i need.. the beats to lift me high.. the guitar riffs to move me in ways no drugs could..

i'm getting darkened by this hardened world.. i am straying away from bad.. but not sure whether i'm getting closer to good.. if not there, where am i heading towards? as long as i move closer to Him, i'm cool..and He knows, music moves me.. i used to love to just sing at any moment.. sad, happy, bored, excited, everytime.. where did that passion go? will i get it back? can i get it back if i try? should i try? is that allowed in this game of life? hmmmmm... pondering is good but not too long, you might find yourself lost in thoughts..

Happy New Year 2011!!!

2011-01-19T13:02:00.002+08:00

Hi!!

It has been awhile and it took so long that I am writing this in the new year!! The Year 2011!! Wow!! The number alone is daunting. "What lies ahead?" I might ask. Knowing I have a God and Friend who's plans for me are of peace, yea and amen gives me the assurance to face this year. Awww.. *hugs God!! :)

Contrary to the masses which is contrary to popular beliefs, many more people are not having resolutions for the new year! I have not done resolutions since 6 to 7 years ago and this year, I want to have resos!! :)

I think it's good to have resolutions as long as you don't share it to someone else because there is the danger of thinking that since you thought about it and you told it to someone, you subconciously has done it since you have gained praise, respect or awe from that person for knowing that you want to do something about it... get it? lol! :p

So yeah, I do have a few for this year and they are all achieavable and I hope I can fulfill all of them if not most! :0 Gulp!!

*ponders...

here waiting...

2010-12-08T13:04:00.000+08:00

I wrote this for her just seconds ago and I thought, I might as well share it.. :)

i stand in this large hall
i stand and look around
there is nobody here
there is no soul here

i stand on this small chair
and i look out the window
and i see no stars
and i see no bars

it's empty and it's void
and i turn around
and i suddenly remember
the love i found

i raced across the hall
and i see a door
i came closer and i opened it
and there i found a space

there in this room
i find your words ringing loud and clear
there in this room
i read your words drumming out loud

there in this room
i was reminded
there in this room
i smiled

i missed you..

and here in this room
will i wait for you
here in this room
i will hold on to your love

here in my heart
will i remind myself
of this light
at the end of this darkness

here in my heart
will i smile
coz i know
here in my heart
will you find me
waiting for you..

o my heartkeeper,
i wait for you,
o my heartkeeper,
my love shines for you..

the true story of the boy in the large hall waiting for his one true love..

Being honest is good to the soul..

2010-12-07T11:03:00.003+08:00

aaaah.. the last couple of weeks has been horrendous!! It has been one of the most confusing times of my life and I am earnestly wanting things to go back to normal again... I feel restless, I feel tired, I feel sadness, I feel anger and I feel everything negative!

I am back on recovery again.. trying to be a caregiver to someone who is depressed when you yourself is trying not to, had taken it's toll..

But I have God on my side and He made this hard path easier.. for His Word light up my path.. and all I need to do is to "trust in the Lord with all my heart and not lean on my own understanding and He will make my path straight!"

I thank You for that!! If it were not for You Lord, I would have been sucked down too!

Interesting this, Depression... When you let it, it becomes an animal.. and they call it The Black Dog.. and it's a companion you wished you don't have to pet.. but you have to! Coz it's yours!!

Mine came too..but I had a Master over me!! So, everytime this black dog appears, all I need to do is cast it away in Jesus' Name and it's gone!!! Sooooo simple!!

Wish she did the same too..but alas, she's not believing.. Many times have I tried telling her..but the stupid big bad black dog was there controlling how she listens to my word.. -_-"""

She's better now.. at least I'd like to think and I'm sure she feels the same way too.. It will appear here and then and my prayer is that, it will slowly go away and never to come again because it is always coming in between us..

Have mercy on us Lord.. please!

O sleep, come to me...

2010-11-24T01:08:00.002+08:00

I am going to cry myself to sleep tonight...
I am being punished for being nice..
again..

----------------------------------------------
O sleep, come to me.. and be my comforter..
O God, let me be, for tonight I want to feel alone..
Be there by my side though, I know I'll run back to You again,
For in You do I find peace and strength,
For only You would understand me,
Only You understand my intentions... and my actions...
And You won't judge me, for You know that I mean what I say and I act with how I love
And You forgive me way before I even ask for it
O sleep, come to me and be my comforter..
----------------------------------------------------

The source..

2010-11-16T12:12:00.003+08:00

There were many nights you wished you could disappear,
There were many days you wished you could runaway,
I am sure these moments defined you,
I am sure these thoughts defined you,

You were afraid to open the window of your soul,
You were fragile and you were afraid,
You were hurt by the ones who were suppose to protect you,
You lost your innocent view of this world,

You thought this is how the world operates,
You thought this is how the world treats,
You thought this is how it is to grow up,
You thought this is what happens to everyone including you.

You had to create, you had to imagine,
A world full of happiness, A world full of joy,
A world where everyone loves you,
A world you could control..

Time passes and your heart grows,
To forgive, to forget and to love again,
Life begins to bloom with wonderful petals of friendship,
Life begins to scent hope, joy and wonderment,
Life begins to radiate the sun, the moon and the stars,

You begin to smile, you begin to love, you begin to move,
Every time these creatures of the past haunts you again.
You had to stop, you had to reflect and sometimes you had to run,
Away from the familiar paths of feelings, back to your sanctuary,

Now, a new time, a new season, a new you,
Pasts revealed, feelings shared, promises told,
Hands clutched, hearts sewn with the warmth of words,
Trusts are build like castles on the foundation of love,
You begin to discover, you begin to open, you begin to stay,
You begin to smile, you begin to capture, you begin to share,

God watches from above and He smiles,
For His plans for you are of peace, of love, and of Him
He made you, He loves you, and He's waiting for you,
To finally run to Him,
The source of YOU.

The incident after Early Sunday Morning

2010-11-15T22:52:00.003+08:00

Finally, I am ready to write about this. I am ready to revisit these old feelings of despair and fear. I think what prompted it was when I was suddenly awoken from my sleep by the dream I had this morning.

I promised quite a number of you by now about what happened to me and my friend after the incident that happened to us. Here it is in order...

After we called for help, the guards of the housing area came to our aid and called the police. The guards were very helpful and very sympathetic on us and they made us sit down but because the incident just happened, I had to keep a cynical eye because there is a possibility that the incident is also connected to the guards.

By now, a couple from one of the houses drove to the guard house and were with us and they told us that they also have called the police. They helped me to stop the bleeding on my leg and they even gave my friend a pair of slippers to wear. The cops came after 10 minutes and they came and asked us what happened and I told them briefly and after that they asked us to sit in their patrol car and they drove to the crime area where my car was at.

I felt so angry and sad looking at the opened doors of my car and broken window and the cops looked in and one of them called us out. I told my friend to stay in the car and I came out and saw the damages to my car. There were shattered glass all over inside my car and I found our wallets at the front passenger side but with no money in them. It's either the perpetrators came back and left our wallets there (because they live at the opposite side and they need to pass our car anyway) and left or they accidentally left it there when they ran.

Anyway, after that the cops asked us to drive behind them. I was like "What? How are we suppose to sit inside with all the shattered glass all over our seats?" and they said to use to foot carpet to cover the seat. So off we went following their car. Sigh.. Imagine you have to do this when you just went through something traumatic?

When we reach the Balakong Police Station, there was one cop behind the desk and he proceeded to take our reports. I was shaking by now and my friend just kept quiet. After the report (which took almost an hour to finish even when there's no one around because I had to correct his spelling soooo many times -_-""), he printed it out and I said "Wait! My friend's name is not in the report" and he said "ah, it's okay, you don't need it la". After that, he proceeded by telling me that I need to pass that report to a sergeant in Balai Polis Kajang. I told the police officer that my car's window is broken and I do not have any money to go there because of lack of petrol and toll. He said just go and tell the toll operators that we have been robbed. Imagine you have to do this when you just went through something traumatic?

So here were we, driving again, in the car with sooo many small cubes of glass and by now, we are tired, worn out and beaten. Blood was still oozing from my knees and we had to drive for the next 30 minutes before we reached there. I hated that feeling of telling the toll operator that we just got robbed as they thought and ponder before they let us through. Imagine you have to do this when you just went through something traumatic?

When we got there, I drove in and a police officer stopped me and said that I need to park outside and I told him that my window is already broken and he told me to park slightly deeper in the vicinity after he gave it thought. (Shouldn't there be car parks for victims of crime in the police station because you know, you are faced with so much fear that the act of letting you park inside gives a sense of security?). By now, it's starting to drizzle. We went in and were told to wait for the investigative officer. 18 minutes passes and then a police officer asked me to go get myself medically checked and I told him "it's okay. It's no biggie. I rather get the report done." He said since I have already written that I have got an injury in my report, I needed to go and do a medical checkup. I reluctantly said "where is the hospital" and he said "dekat je.. kat belakang." Imagine you have to do this when you just went through something traumatic?

So we started walking in the rain with only one umbrella and a bloodied knee and "dekat je" was actually 300 metres away!! In the hospital, in the wet and cold room we waited before I was called in and the doctor insisted I take an x-ray and by now, I was shivering. My friend was waiting outside (and I feel bad for leaving her alone in this period :/) and after I pass the x-ray to the doctor, she said the nurses will bandage me. I waited for the next 20 minutes and I can see all the nurses chatting away and I thought why are they taking so long. I was falling asleep and after 20 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore and went closer to them.. that's when one of the nurses said "oh! boleh sesiapa buat dressing untuk kaki dia??" GOSH!!!! ALL THIS WHILE I WAS WAITING FOR NOTHING??!?!!! I kept quiet in anger and after that we walked back to the police station. I got splashed by a car that passes by a puddle on the road and laughed to myself thinking "When it rains, it pours!" and we waited for another 10 minutes before one of the police officer said "Sergeant Hassan tak ada skarang so saya buat aduan la ye?" Imagine you have to go through this when you just went through something traumatic?

Another officer came and asked me where my car was and he took a picture of my bandaged knee. He said "oh! you dah bandage ke? hmmm.. takpe lah I ambik gambar bandage tu" I gave him that "Are you serious" look and kept quiet. The report and the questions asked was even more detailed this time and as I was giving my answer, I saw this lady walking outside who goes to my ex church and I called her and I asked her for rm10 for petrol. She helped me messaged my parents and she gave me rm30 instead. My friend was also interviewed and this time her name was put into the report. Imagine you have to do this when you just went through something traumatic?

By the time me and my friend had given our report, it is already, believe it or not, 1020am in the morning!!!! Imagine how we would feel?? Imagine the trauma we had to shut out because we had to be mechanical during the reporting?? I don't understand how come there is no trained personnel to aid us in this trying times? I don't understand why we are going through a really harsh moment right after something evil happened to us..

How would you feel if this happens to your mom? Your dad? Your sons or your daughters? Your loved one? Your spouse? Imagine... I ask you if you dare.. Imagine, no one is there to help you stand up and you had to do it on your own. I am glad my friend was there but imagine if you had to do this all on your own?? Imagine!!

My friend's UK number registered so many long distance calls to Indonesia and she was slapped with an almost 150 pounds!!! She asked her mom to get the police report and her mom couldn't get the report and she had to go to Kajang to get the police report to make a copy!!!

Sigh... Please do something.. Raise awareness.. sigh.. the reporting procedure really needs to be re-examined... and you know what?? Until today, no officer has called me to tell me what is the result of the investigation! You know what I think is happening? Victims reports incidences but because there is no strong conclusive action from the authorities, the perpetrators have got their chance to practice again... and will it be, God forbid, be someone you know? Someone you love? or maybe.. God forbid.. be you?

God helps us all.

Waiting for that one desire...

2010-10-13T15:21:00.002+08:00

Wow!! Alot has happened since that fateful day!! Alot I tell you!!!

I can only say that the recent events in my life has been simply....monumental!!

Here, now, I find myself skyping with someone who's actually doing her assignment at this very moment 7 hours away! ;)

I am back in performing mode!! I'm performing as a singer-songwriter, gigging in music and am involved in a musical! I love just taking the guitar and singing away too these days!! Wow!! The last time this happened was about 2 years ago!!

aaaaaand.... I'm also in a relationship!!! Wow!! Never knew it would ever happen again.. or rather wasn't expecting it to happen so soon! This is something I would definitely write about in more detail later.. :D oh! I am sooo in love I tell you!!! ;)

It's as if everything is fixed! :D but there is still one thing that I haven't seen or rather experience yet though.. something I used to do alot those days and I'm desiring, craving to do it again.. and that is to serve in church again. I discovered the joy of singing and playing when I used to sing and play in church. I discovered the passion and love of worshiping God in spirit and in truth when I used to worship lead. I started of my singing career as a gospel singer-songwriter by writing gospel songs!!

The number one thing that I really miss to be exact is that..... I really miss worship leading!! That's the number one thing that I really miss and I hope I get to do it again soon. I feel sad while I feel happy (yeah weird I know) when I come for praise and worship sessions.. thinking about the songs I would sing or the types of arrangements I would use.. and I feel sad because I thought I could start off by playing the guitar in the service of the church I'm going to now but even that hasn't happen yet. Then's when I realize that I actually have been waiting for alot of things to happen in my life.. not because I'm not pushing it.. but rather people say they will come back to me.. :/ how does one know when to push others to to the things they suppose to do for you without being seen as pushy?

Anyway.. just felt like writing about this one desire I have.. It has been more than 3 years since I last worship led in my own church! I have worship led in soo many other churches during gigs but not in my own yet. Waiting is such a pain to do.. but I believe when you wait, the process makes you be more mature and it gives you character. It makes you realise how important time is and it makes you appreciate things when they do actually happen.

Abraham had to wait. David had to wait. Samson had to wait. Daniel had to wait. Joseph had to wait. Abraham tried to speed things up and the result of that action produced something so disastrous that the effects of it is still evident till today!! So learn how to wait.. coz when God actually allows it to happen, you'll be saying.. "Boy, I've been waiting for this to happen for soo long and now that it happens, it couldn't have come at the right time!!" :D

So yeah, wait for my next post k? ;)

(P.S - I'll write about my harrowing experience of filling a police report in the bext one which will happen by this week! Sorry for the delay.. :)

God bless!!)

She's leaving...on a jet plane

2010-09-21T14:18:00.003+08:00

I didn't expect the last 4 weeks.

I wasn't expecting that at all. It felt so surreal and I told her it felt as if we were in a movie.

Then a movie showed us how our situation is unfolding right before us!

"How would you feel when you are watching a movie and that movie is showing (almost identical!) on what is really happening in your life at that moment you are watching it?!! And with the person you are experiencing it at that!!"

I wasn't expecting that! Neither did she. Gosh!! We both agreed it was monumental.

I remember when she sang that song last night.. (I finally got the chance to hear her sing!)

"So I'm leaving on a jet plane...Don't know when I'll be back again, Oh baby, I hate to go.... "

After 4 weeks of immense experiences and countless coincidences,

She left this morning..

Will it be back to normal now? I hardly think so...

Situation No. 4

2010-09-19T16:05:00.005+08:00

Is it a coincidence that I find myself in this situation for the fourth time??!!

I have two options.

First, does that mean I failed the last three times and therefore I should say yes?
Or second, does it mean it's a situation that I am attracted to and therefore I should say no?

If that is the case (I'm talking about the 2nd option here), what if no. 5 comes along? Does that mean it was option 1 all these while?

If it has been option no.1 all these while, then I must make sure I do it correctly this time so that situation no.5 does not happen.

Correct?

If it's option 2, then I don't understand why it's happening again because I am NOT attracted to this situation. It's something I've always tried to avoid. (The Secret comes to mind)

Anway,

I will do this right. I will go through it all the way. I don't want to lose situation no. 4.

Only 9 months.. (that is quite long!)

Let the waiting begin.. (if it doesn't go like how I would like it to, at least I can say that it has been option 2 all the while)

Early Sunday morning..

2010-09-06T23:09:00.003+08:00

I just went through one of the scarriest time of my life. If it was not for God's protection over us, we could have been found murdered in my car. My friend could have been raped!

What happened? I was letting my friend drive the car around Mahkota Cheras before I send her back home. We took the same road twice and the 3rd time we took it, we decided that we should go back home because it was getting late. As we changed place, I started to drive when suddenly I saw a man infront of the car! I slowed down the car and suddenly, my window on my side broke!! I was shocked and I stopped my car! The 2nd time the window crashed and this time it exploded into thousands of tiny pieces of cube glass and sprayed the entire car.

Immediately a hand reached in and tried to remove the car keys and I grabbed the car keys but he got the alarm part of the key and before I could do anything, he screamed and show his sickle parang!! I had to relent and pass him the car keys. At that same moment, I told my friend to go out the other way but another guy was waiting on the other side and told us to remain in the car.

They both demanded us to give our money and handphones. I had one and my friend had two. After that they asked us for more money and they started searching the car for valuables. They took my Ipod (i miss it soo much now!), my watch (my most expensive lost! Given as a gift from my uncle) and my rings (no more The Lord Of The Rings story!) :( . As for my friend, they took her ring (a prized possesion of hers), they searched her handbag and took all the money in there.

After all that, they were still not happy with how much they got (I wasn't in my most productive season you see) and kept on asking for more money! By now, still no car in sight to help us which leads me to believe that they are from that same area as they would know the frequency of traffic in that area. I was praying in tongues quietly when all this is happening. At one point, the guy with the parang swinged his parang at me and he stopped halfway! That was the scarriest point for me because he could have swinged it all the way. Thank you Jesus for stopping him!

By now, they should have left! By now, they could have run away. By now, they could have gone and left us alone! But no!!! They were still there and I was beginning to believe that they had other sinister plans and true enough, one of the guy grabbed my friend's breast!! I was sooo angry at this point of time but I kept it within me because I knew if I retaliated, one of them could easily stab me. I needed a way to go out from the car!! We were both trapped in the car and it felt like a cage!! Right at this moment, the guy said close the light (the car light) and he was looking like a lustful animal at my friend and he slapped me and told me not to look! I had to turn and I prayed "Lord, please open the door!"

Now, because of the stone being thrown at the window, it broke my door's lock. So the other guy couldn't open the driver's door. It turned to be a blessing in disguise. The guy inside the car asked me to get out but I told him I couldn't as my door is jammed so he asked me to go out from the passenger door. My friend told me not to leave her. I told her that I won't let anything happen to her and I got out.

I have to thank God that the other guy was still on the other side of the car and I can't believe it that he was laughing looking at his partner in crime trying to touch my friend. I took a few steps back and screamed as loud as I can!! "Tolong!!! Tolong!!!" The both of them got spooked and got out of the car and wanted to chase after me. I ran around the car while screaming and they realised they wouldn't be able to get to me and they ran away!!! I kept on screaming and my friend got out of the car and we both shouted for help!

We both climbed into a housing area and we continued shouting! Here's the best part.. no one woke up from their sleep!! -_-"""" after a few times, the security guard came (I guess he heard us screaming and was looking for the source of scream). He came and we told him the story and he left to call the other security guards! By this time, guess how many people woke up? Only a couple from one house! -_-""" yes.. Malaysia Boleh Tidur!

The security guards called the police and the earlier-mentioned couple came out in their car and told us that they have also called the police. They were kind to stay there with us until the police came 15 minutes later. My knee is bleeding quite badly and we both have bruises, scratches all over.

The police came and after asking us what happened, they took us into their car to go see my car. Our wallets were still there but they've taken the money along with them. My car was in a mess! Broken glass was everywhere and we had to put the foot carpet over our seats.

Now, you would think the ordeal has ended. The reporting part is another traumatic experience! That is another story alltogether and I will post it up and will tell in detail what happened because I don't think our police and hospital force knows how to handle victims! Malaysia Boleh Buat Duh! -_-""" I seriously think there should be a course for all these staffs to go through to ensure that when it happens to them or their families, they are glad their fellow colleagues have got what it takes to handle victims of crime! -_-"""

I just want to say that this can happen at any time at any place. Why it happen is something both of us will know in time because I believe everything happens for a reason. I do know one thing, God has us in His mind when all this was happening and I know His angels were there!!

I was very shaken and I am still shaking when I tell people what actually happened. I feel slightly better now. I am glad to be alive. I am glad my friend wasn't violated. I am glad that we both could come out of this without being seriously injured! I am glad that I could come home and be scolded by my parents. I rather go through that then go through what I went through last Sunday morning.

Be extra wary on festive season and also when it's the early part of the month!! I am gonna get myself a pepper spray can and keep one in the car. I wish we could get tasers over here. That'll be more electrifying when people try to rob you!

I am also glad that I have many friends who really showed genuine concern over me when they found out. Thank you each one of you who called, messaged and commented in my facebook page. Thank you! Each of you did a precious thing. You helped me to overcome this trauma.

God bless you!!

Era

2010-08-23T23:46:00.003+08:00

Yaaay!!! A new era has begun!! Well, at least in the "work" side of my life!!

I wanted to work in the corporate world again but I didn't want to stop teaching music in the afternoons and performing at night and guess what?? I got exactly a job like that!! Yaaay!! :D I really didn't think I could find a corporate job that can be very flexible with the working hours! It's in Bangsar of all places!! Yaaaay!! :D

It's an interesting company building a really interesting product (you will definitely know one day) and I will be the Project Manager! :D I have alot to learn (mostly IT technical stuffs, jargons and workflow) and fast but I think I could really give that different vibe to the company with me in it! :) I just wanna say "Thank You Jesus for answering my prayer!! :D muah!!!"

Now, for the other era to start! jeng jeng jeng... ;)

Major Stuffs!

2010-08-18T23:14:00.004+08:00

I am proud of myself!! I have decided on two major things this year!! Wow!! :D

One is, I have found a church! It's funny that it is not a church that I would have thought I would love to settle in! It was the first church I checked out 18 months ago and after a couple of weeks, I told myself I'm gonna find another church because it's too hyped for me. Fast forward 15 months later, I find myself frustrated, investigative ( I know! :p) and critical! I could open a store selling all these First-Time-Visitor gifts I received from all the churches I've been to! I even called this period The Church Summer Tour! -_-""""

After countless experiences, I finally relented and asked God which church He wants me to be 'coz I am tired of searching and funny (but true), this church; that first church I checked out, comes to mind! I went right away that afternoon (it was a Sunday of course!) and I have been going ever since! I'm not really sure why He wants me to come to Kingdom City but I do know that with time, I will find out. I am happy to find a home church again!! That unsettling feeling of checking out the vibe has gone!! Phew.. It is such a relief you know?!

("Nothing can stop the favor of the Lord!!!" Hahahaha.. Israel Houghton's song!! Awesome song!! Sorry, off topic! I am listening to this song at the moment! :p)

The other major decision was about my career. From my previous post, you know that I have a decision to make about which career path I will take and I have decided to continue with music and theatre and teaching at Start Society. :D I have challenges ahead of me but I know with the Lord by my side, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! :D yaaaaaay!!!!

Now, for some of those things that I have yet to decide... I know they are stacked somewhere in my past and memory..

*Tony goes away looking for em...*

Peace

2010-08-15T14:27:00.002+08:00

Peace,

Such a simple pleasure to have.

Only the select few will get it;

Why?

Because they chose to.

sigh..

2010-08-12T19:54:00.002+08:00

I feel the need to be honest!

I want to be honest with how I feel.

I don't like this waiting moment.

I'm getting tired of being still.

I want changes in my life.

I want blessings in my life.

Where are they Lord?

Don't let me go down like the usual people.

Them, who will be forgotten.

And no more thought of..

I want to be in Your Courts Lord.

I want to sing songs of love for You forever Lord. Forever!!!

What else must I do to gain this favor Lord?

I'm tired of swimming against the current.

I feel the need to be honest.

I feel the need..

I feel..

:'(

C'mon Lord..

The Decision

2010-08-11T00:15:00.003+08:00

Wow! I am just in an amazing position right now! Some people call it terrifying! I call it exciting!

I have two options!

One is I get to work as a music teacher (and much more) to underpriviledged kids and get paid a fairly decent salary. This I can start in November..

The other one is I get to work as a trainer (doing corporate camps, travelling, proposals) in a very exciting and cool company and get paid a decent salary. This I can start immediately.

But...

The first option requires me to lose in the material-gain race; meaning I can't get the latest model of cars or gadgets or get a bigger house because it all depends whether my EP is succesful or not.

The second option requires me to lose out in the music and performing arts career in which I have invested 5 years and at a time when I am about to record my EP! It means I have no time to do any gigs or theatre shows anymore.

On one hand, I want to pursue my passion, on the other, I want to honour my parents by giving them a good life.

The clock is ticking... I need to decide before Friday 5pm..

What do you think?? Please pray for me if you are the praying kind so that the decision I make would be the one that He wants me to do. I went over and talked to my friend, Joshua Lee about my predicament and he told me, "whatever it is you choose, do it with the intention to honour God and that would be the best motive to start something new" and he told me of that verse..

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all things, commit your ways to the Lord and He will make your path straight"

Wow! Never has that verse impacted me in a football-to-your-face kinda impact before!!

Exciting? or Terrifying? I'm deciding..

Update

2010-08-05T15:13:00.003+08:00

As you can see my blog has changed its "look"! I have added another page to just tell you who I am.. well, more the "outside" me. Go and check it out and know the "outside" me better, if you want to. :)

I'm gonna add another page which is a Wish List and that'll be kinda cool to check back a few years from now.

So yeah, looks like I'm getting more comfortable to blog and the momentum's gaining. ;)

Boy With The Walking Stick

2010-07-29T12:00:00.003+08:00

Yesterday I went for my usual hospital appoinment and as I waited for my turn, this boy came as well with his parents and he looks prolly around the age of 10 or 11 years old and he was coming in with a walking stick!!! He looks like he was in so much pain and he can barely walk! He sat just two seats away infront of me.

.....

I tried my best not to cry.. a few times I had to just look up and not let anyone see..

...the only thing I could think of at that moment was a prayer. I was praying really hard that this boy be healed! I am very much sure he has dreams as well as aspirations.. Tsk! Seeing him in pain like that was abit unbearable. :'( sigh... poor fella.. hug2 him. pat2 him..

I was actually thinking how I could minimise his pain and I thought It'll be cool if I have a Nintendo or GameBoy to pass to him so that he could just be happy and play that game. Later, when I came back to see the doctors after the blood test, I see him happily sitting at one corner on a wheelchair playing a GameBoy. He looks distracted and that's good.

I smiled looking at him being a boy..just for that moment..

If you are the praying kind, please, do say a prayer for him that he could be healed? Thanks...

Crossroad

2010-07-26T17:55:00.002+08:00

You know what? I am actually at a junction at the moment. A life junction that is!

I find myself in this unfamiliar territory again after 5 long years. It was at that time when I decided to go from the corporate world (I was in IT for 8 years! yes, IT! yes me! :p) to the music and theatre world. It is very much like being in a desert! You don't know which direction to take and when you look behind, it's very much the same infront! So what do you do??

I know how Abraham felt when he left his familiar territory and went into God's unfamiliar territory. What made the difference and as the famous saying goes " the rest is history" for Abraham? He had faith in God. He had faith that God will bring him to the promised land! He had faith that God will eventually do what He said He would do!

I'm in that crossroad in life again. What should I do? I will remember His promises for me! They've been a-long time coming and I will remember what Abraham did. He believed in God's faithfulness and so will I no matter how bleak and desert-like it feels at the moment.

Like how John Bevere said "I will feed on God's faithfulness"; so will I.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go jog away from this crossroad! ;) Bless you!

Truly Blessed!

2010-07-24T12:36:00.009+08:00

I'm back! :D

The word "back" meaning I've come to be here again. In Malaysia! :p I have been thoroughly blessed to be able to travel in and out of Peninsular Malaysia the last four five months. It has been mostly because of gigs for Juwita but I feel like it's paid holidays rather than working trips!

Someone blessed me to go to Perth, Western Australia for two weeks and I had one of the best trips ever. I just wanna say thank you to you! You know who you are and God will certainly bless you a thousand fold back!

From the hustle and bustle and filled with beautiful people city of Perth,

to the quiet, serene and filled with beautiful moments in Jurien Bay, up north of Perth

and from the small town of Sandakan, Sabah

to the mega skycrapers of Hong Kong

and not to forget Kuala Lipis, the small town that reminds me to be humble,

to Penang, the island with it's magical attraction to the gut (;p),

to Singapore where I think I would thrive in corporateness;

and to Melaka where history always wins me over.

I had to cancel my trip to Kuching for the need to record my demo and in a way, I was tired of flying! :p I know Kuching's time will come again. So many old friends over there!

I am trully blessed the last few months. I will travelling again to Sandakan and Singapore in September God willing! :)

Just a special mention about Juwita Suwito who I think has really changed the way my life is right now. She is such an inspiration to me and she makes me wanna be the best guitarist, musician, singer out there! :p Thank you to you too!! And of course, a special thanks to your mom, Aunty Hannah as all of us would affectionately call her.. always making sure we are all in our best behaviour! Hahahahah.. ;p

Stars

2010-07-16T02:11:00.002+08:00

There is a boy that wished he could just be with the stars.
He feels happy when he is with the stars..out there where it's just quiet, peaceful and calming.
He always looks up when he takes a walk outside and if you are lucky, you could see him smile as he looks at them.
You might also be able to see him muttering something as he looks up but it's just for a short while.
He might not even realise you are looking at him.
Such is the effect the stars has on him.

If you ever get the chance to, ask him why he looks at the stars and why does he look up?
He will definitely tell you that it's because the stars remind him of promises foretold.
He will definitely say that the stars shines back peace and hope.
How would I know this you might ask?
It's because I am that boy.

Massive chain-story

2010-07-09T01:43:00.001+08:00

I'm not sure about others but for me, writing a song is an experience. It must have a story to go along with it. Very much like our lives. We didn't just happened! There was a story that started before us and God willing, will continue after us. We are part of this massive chain-story!

Would you make a difference in yours?

Will You make it count for the next in line?

Today might be the day for you

and for me.

So go on, sing a tune, play a song.. someone will be listening.. maybe not today, maybe tomorrow but someone will! :)

St. John Vianney

2010-07-01T10:09:00.006+08:00

Last week, I had the priviledge to be one of the facilitators for a music camp for the St. Mary's Church in Sandakan, Sabah. Let me tell you... God is moving everywhere including through the walls of denominations!! Wow!! I was humbled to see this and I could only thank Him for the opportunity to witness it! :D

I noticed in the church there was a poster of St. John Vianney who is the Patron Saint for priests and I decided to check him out in Wikipedia and boy, I stumbled upon something beautiful!! His prayer to Jesus!! I was dumbfounded by the love he has for God! Wow! I'm trembling thinking about the kind of prayer he said and I don't think I am even close to his level of adoration! Wow!!! WOOOOW!! Here it is... :

I love You, O my God,

and my only desire is to love You until the last breath of my life.

I love You,

O my infinitely lovable God, and I would rather die loving You,

than live without loving You.

I love You, Lord

and the only grace I ask is to love You eternally My God,

if my tongue cannot say in every moment that I love You,

I want my heart to repeat it to You as often as I draw breath.

-St. John Vianney-

Wow!!! I love that last part!!! Fuh!! (sorry, I'm having such a lyricist moment here thinking about the beautiful words! heh :P)

Anyway, I leave that awesome prayer for you to be blessed! Have a good day today and don't forget to have fun!! :D

Daniel and his songs (i am sleepy)

2010-06-23T02:13:00.003+08:00

I would like to write about something that's in my heart but there's nothing conclusive or concrete in there. I have many things to settle and yet I find myself totally dis-attached from what I really feel in my heart. Maybe it's the many things that are happening around me. Maybe it's because I was humbled by talking to Daniel, a refugee here in Malaysia (well, Malaysia would call him an immigrant! -_-"" sad really!) and I heard him singing one of his songs and he humbly asked me to tell him whether the song is nice or not and to tell him what else could he do to make the song better. I feel so inadequate when he asked me that. I relented anyhow and after he sang, I was awestruck by the beautiful mother tongue languare of Burma! I was even more dumbfounded by the meaning of the lyrics.

He said (in broken English), "the song is about the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross and that no mind, no strength, no power could ever comprehend unless it was the Holy Spirit giving wisdom and understanding!" Nice!

He is so hungry to learn more about the guitar, more about learning about what my view is about the "outside" world since he can't simply walk around the neighbourhood. Grrr...again, making me angry thinking of the guardians of justice of our land.. -_-""' Anyway, Daniel has this uh-maaa-zing testimony!! He has Masters in Divinity too!! Meet him if you want to and listen to his humble heart.. It's sad that Malaysia do not recognise refugees and I do hope it will change soon.

I think I learn more from him than he did from me.

Teach me Lord, to love you like a little boy.

I want to please You Lord.

Puuuh-leeeeeease...? :P

Refugees are people who need help, not fortune seekers!

2010-06-18T00:37:00.003+08:00

I just want to pray for a particular concern in my heart and I think it's a crucial one. Pray with me (or read along if you want) and let's believe for a change of policy in Malaysia.

"Lord Jesus, I just want to thank You for the blessings that You have poured over my life. I just wanna thank You for all the things that You have blessed with me and I hope that these things could be used to give You back all the glory. Lord Jesus, as You have blessed me, I would like to ask You that You will bless the refugees in my country Lord. I pray Lord that first and foremost, Malaysia will recognise and open their doors to refugees Lord. Please have mercy on these humble and help-craved people!

Lord, I beseech You to let change come into our country when it comes to refugees! I am sick and tired hearing about how the Burmese are abused, abandoned, bullied and tossed around!! Jesus, I ask for Your forgiveness on the way we treat strangers in our land! Forgive us Lord and make us see how wrong we are!

Jesus have mercy on us and especially on these people Lord. Let us be able to help them in everyway we can and help us make them comfortable here Lord. Please use us to provide them with basic needs such as shelter, clothing, food and security.

Jesus, have mercy Lord!! Let us see how hypocritical we are! We are so concerned about what's happening in other parts of the world and how to impress other countries with the way we build things instead of being concerned about our own problems and our very own neighbours!

Father, in the Name of Your Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, I pray for an open door!!! In Jesus' Name!!! In Jesus' Name!!

Amen."

This weekend will be World Refugee Day and you can checkout Amnesty International Malaysia and UNHCR for more info. I really am baffled at the way things are done in my country. They speak of so many righteous-sounding stuffs and the very people who need help as well come knocking on our door, and what do they do? They turn a deaf ear! Arrgh!! I am sick and tired of this hypocrisy!

-_-""""""""""""""""""""''

Dot Dot Dot

2010-06-17T13:57:00.003+08:00

It has been exactly 3 years since I was "dot dot dot"! The day I found out was on the 15th of June 2007 and it is still as clear as day. It has been a really awesome journey and though it is far from over, I have learnt so many things about life, love, friendship, relationships, priorities and God's love.

It was through this experience, I fully understand about the passage in the Bible when Jesus said "Look at the birds... " when I just had the urge to eat something I wanted to. It was simplistic in nature but life-changing and minset-changing in results. I wanna thank my family, my friends and my support-group (and new found friends through this) for being themselves and availing themselves. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

The funny thing is I only realised it late last night and I was taken aback for awhile and my friend, Yuinny decided to buy me a drink to celebrate! Haha.. Sweet of her!

Another thing happened last night, I got the chance to just worship God in a corporate setting. aaaahhhhhhhhhh... after almost more than 3 years!!! It has been something I wanted to do for a long long long time now and I got it yesterday!!! The meeting is aptly called "Fuel" and I feel so recharged now!!!

"Thank You Lord!!! It was amazing!! I've always wanted to just be in Your house and just worship You and adore You and I got to do it yesterday! A day in Your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere indeed!! I am a happy boy!!"

3 years and counting... :)

Do you know this church?? URGENT!

2010-06-12T15:41:00.006+08:00

I have been searching for a church to call home for more than a year now. It is both an exciting and dissapointing journey I must say. I thought I have already decided on a church in January but after awhile, I realised that I am a worshipper first! I need a church where worshipping God is an important aspect. I miss that corporate worship that I used to get from my old one. So, someone asked me this question "What kind of church are you looking for?" I have a list and here goes :

1. A church that worships God, Jesus and lets the Holy Spirit to move freely. Praise and worship is not just part of the service but it is the service!! This is the only thing we will be doing in heaven man! So we better get used to it!

2. A church that teaches the full gospel of the Word of God and I'm talking about the meat here. Yes, there will be new believers who should have a separate class to learn the milk aspect of the Word of God and it's okay sometimes but not ALL THE TIME!

3. A church that believes in love. (Now, here is where alot of churches fail.... miserably!) Alot of churches preach the love for God but not many church preach about the need to love one another; to care for one another; to lookout for one another; to encourage and to uphold one another. You'll be surprised how many non-Christians would say that Christians are only nice to you so that they can bring you to church. It's as if their job is done once you become saved. -_-"

4. A church that believes in evangelism (not the let-me-come-to-your-house-and-tell-you-about-Jesus-because-you-are-so-going-to-hell but the one that explains about the love of God and shows it!!) and discipling these new Christians to be stable mature ones. It would be cool if they have a mentoring system! ;D

5. A church that believes in Christians should be the SALT in different pillars of a nation such as politics, education, economy, entertainment, law and therefore supports and encourages these Christians through prayer and intercession to be that voice of change.

6. A church that recognises the power of youth and young adults and therefore spur them to work for and unto God. These are the ones that's gonna carry the nation in 5 to 7 years! So better on your feet or they'll run faster than you can blink!

7. A church that do not discriminate or is very heavy sided towards one race or strata of the society. Do you notice how one church will have almost all Chinese? or almost all Indians?? tsk tsk tsk.

8. A church that realises that it's ministry should be to equip and to SEND OUT Christians during the week to do what they do best in their respective fields and not keeping them IN the church with so many activities and meetings. After awhile, you'll realise these people only have themselves as friends and therefore who's gonna be that positive voice in society when all the Christians are busy in the church?

9. A church that respects people of other faith and not ridicule them during sermons because you never know who's gonna come for that week and they might just as well give them an invitation card of NO SHOW for the comments they say. How would you feel is someone comes to you and say "You are so going to hell if you don't worship my God!"? They don't use these exact words but they do say it in that tone! -_-""""

10. A church that believes in being an agent of Hope, Peace and Joy to orphans, widows, people who are unfortunate and starting a revolution and keeping it going and being that strong force in the area in which it is situated. Represent yo!!

So yeah, that's the church I am looking for. If you know a church that fits this bill, let me know.

Yes, I know there is no perfect church and that's sad init? We always have to "settle" for something less. No wonder people jump churches all the time, like what I had to do after being in one for 22 years!! :(

I miss worship leading. I miss playing the guitar, bass and drums in Praise and Worship sessions. I miss serving God. My heart's burning in me to serve Him again. I do get the privilege to play and serve in alot of churches for youth concerts and worshops but I want one to call my own.

I hope this "Church Summer Tour" would end soon because with the amount of door gifts I'm getting from the churches I've visited, I could easily open a Churchs' Gifts Shop to sell all these gifts away! -_-""

Songs that ministered to me and back to God

2010-06-07T02:38:00.007+08:00

Wow!! I must actually give myself a pat on the back!! The reason for this is because I have noticed that I have been writing quite alot on my blog!! Muahahahah!! This wouldn't have been the case if it was last year! :p

Anyway, I would like to talk about another song! In particular a song that has touched my heart, mind and soul recently..and it is in pertaining to my physical being! It's a beautiful song which I first heard in this church I was visiting (a rather unflattering version of it :p) and I thought to myself, "Wow! I can see the beauty in the melody but is that how it goes?"

A week later, a friend of mine, Greg told me that Lincoln Brewster did a cover of that song and he played it and I'm like "Wait!! This is the song they sang the other day in church wasn't it??" Lol!! I am such a huge fan of Lincoln as a guitarist and I have great respect for that man who is possibly the only pastor who is endorsed by Fender Guitars!

I might wanna blog about him later but for now, it's about the song "Everlasting God"! It is a beautiful inspiring and uplifting song about God being the Everlasting God and that He knows what we are going through exactly and I am so in tuned to that!

Every now and then we get songs such as these that comes our way and we feel like we get this immediate plug on to God's line in times of worship and more often that not, these songs comes through a really bad patch in the writer's life. Songs like Amazing Grace, What A Friend We Have In Jesus and even Shout To The Lord were written because the writers went through an ordeal in their lives.

I found out that Everlasting God was written in that same difficult and painful experience! It's written by Brenton Brown and Ken Riley and here you can watch the video as Brenton explains why he wrote that song.

So yeah, normally a song born out of grief are the ones that would really tug in your heart and this song has done exactly that to me. I love Lincoln Brewster's version though and the solo! It's such a cool one! :D

Here's the song sung by Lincoln Brewster :

I got the chance to sing this song in Penang for a Juwita Suwito gig. She said that this song has been ministering to her too when I suggested to her to sing the song so it was a confirmation for the both of us to sing this song! God is simply amazing! :D

I would also like to talk about another song! Wow! Sorry if today's post if super long! I'm not even sure if anyone's reading it in the first place! Muahahahahha!! It's okay.. at least I know Jesus is reading it! Hehehehehe.. :p

I heard this song yesterday for the first time and I was blown away the moment I heard it! I just bought Paul Baloche's latest album entitled "Glorious" and I thought it was just another CD until I heard it's tenth song! WOW!!!! It's called "Almighthy" and I so wanna worship lead with this song now, erm.. when I finally get to call a church my new home that is! :/ This song is ministering to me and God too!! Yaaaaay!!! Anyway, here's the song! Be blessed!!

Super long post! Yes i know! I got excited about the second song! Hehe.. Good nite my dear readers.. if there are any of you in the first place! Lol! :p

May I...

2010-06-05T02:02:00.004+08:00

The heart beats at the first blow;

May I in Your Spirit ever flow.

The river starts at the first rain;

May I in Your Passion never wane.

The horse neighs at the first call;

May I in Your Love ever fall.

The heart flutters at the first sight,

May I in Your Obedience never fight.

Church Signs

2010-06-03T02:23:00.003+08:00

I love how the churches in other countries comes up with the most funniest sayings and slogans outside their yard!! I wish Malaysian churches could do it as well without getting into trouble with authorities. Here's some which I like :

I'm sure Malaysians could come up with their own funny versions ala Malaysian style! Well, here's hoping!! :D

I am in Him and He in me

2010-06-01T10:41:00.003+08:00

I had a really good time with a dear friend of mine, Elliot Koon yesterday. He is one of the best drummers I've played with and knowing that he is really happy teaching in UCSI gives me the warm feeling of knowing that God is taking care of my friend.

I was telling him about how I am in a junction in my life and how exciting it is to be resigning everything and wanting to be able to do what my heart wants to do, which to begin with, I'm not sure what. Haha! I just knew in my heart that I need to stop doing everything I have been doing and just wait for Jesus to tell me what to do next.

Elliot started sharing to me about how God has been teaching him about his identity in Christ as we were talking about how all the Popular Sanguines, musicians, art lovers knows exactly how King David feels and why he reacted in someways.

If we know our identity in Christ, we have such power that no man can take away. That's what the enemy wants to do; to remove our identity in Christ. Satan tried doing exactly that when Jesus was alone in the desert fasting!! Of course Satan failed.

My identity is that I am a Child of God. I am in Jesus and therefore I am seated with Jesus on the right hand side of God! That means I have His favor, His blessings, His protection, His peace, His joy! I am more than a conqueror and I am more than just a spectator in heaven. I am not standing or seating away from Him looking at Him seating on the throne, I am there seated with Him!!

Wow! I've never seen that perspective before! Being beside God on His throne. It's true then.. I am a king too!! "D Jesus is the King of Kings and I am one of His kings!!! :D OOOH!!! Therefore my resource is in Jesus and not from something or someone else!

I know I don't have big fat cheques coming my way at the end of every month because of the nature of my job but I am doing what most people can only dream of doing and even though sometimes it doesn't pay much, I have the greatest satisfaction of doing what I like to do! He has proven Himself over and over again when He provided me with things I need over the years. Yes He has! I have so many testimonies of how God has blessed me literally at the eleventh hour! hahaha.. :D if you wanna know some, let me know! I'll share it with ya! ;)

Haaaah.. I am blessed!! Truly!

You are my source Lord, and ever more You'll be.

My heart and soul sings of Your incomprehensible majestic worth Lord!

Be You praised forever and ever,

my joy, my song, my King!

I am 31 today

2010-05-30T17:52:00.002+08:00

I am 31 today.

Looking back I see the grey past.

Looking back I see the choices I've made, the friends I've lost, the thoughts I've harboured, the images I've stored, the feelings I've festered, the love I cherished, the materials I've gained.

This process will repeat itself again next year.

Looking in front of me, I see the bright future.

Yes! It's bright because the plans He has for me are plans of wonderful promises, plans of extravagance because I am His child and He loves me! :D

I am 31 today!

I want to be like You

2010-05-27T03:16:00.003+08:00

I've always wanted to impress You.
Yet, You've always wanted the simplest things out of me.

I've always wanted to make You smile.
Yet, You've always made me smile.

I've always wanted to write the most beautiful songs about You.
Yet, You've written the most beautiful songs about me!!

I've always wanted to follow You wherever You go.
Yet, You will follow me wherever I go.

I want to be like You.

"O Pure Love, Mine Heart Thou Keepeth"

Do You know why I like You?

2010-05-25T23:52:00.004+08:00

Do you know why I like you?
It's because I know you know this person in me.
You know my aspirations, my desires, my wants, my needs and above all these, you know my heart.
You know every single reason and motives for every single thing I say or do.
You know why exactly I do certain things and why I react in such ways to every little things.
You know the times when I'm happy and I know you smile when you see me laughing, singing away in joy and happiness.
You also know the times when I just feel like shutting everything out and be in the darkness to mend my hurting heart.
You see this and I know you are sad when you see me crying to sleep, singing away in sorrow and grief.
You love me. You truly do.
I know and I love you too.
Thank you Jesus for understanding me better than anyone else.
You are my best friend and will always be.
Now, that's a reason to smile.. :)

About that recent incident, thank You for opening my eyes to see why it's not meant to be. Phew! Thanks for saving me from a potential calamity! ;)

....pssst Lord, don't forget the dance yeah? ;)

Sweetbitter

2010-05-17T02:41:00.003+08:00

Bittersweet moment.. or could I say sweetbitter moment?

Almost found love... and yet the next day, I lost a friendship..

I'd rather you concentrate on God's calling. I'd rather you have your heart set entirely on doing His will.. I'd rather us be friends..

But....

You'd rather give me up...

Which one of us paid the price?

:'(

the orange pill

2010-05-05T02:50:00.002+08:00

I don't think anyone in their right mind wants to be where I am. I wish I don't have to drink so much water. I wish I can just sleep at any time I want. I wish I could just be free from the orange pill. I just wish I don't have that thing in me.

A wish is just a wish.. :(

This is one of those days which I wish I do not have that condition in me. Sigh.. this moment can be tough and they've come and gone and sometimes I feel like I just wanna stop and take a moment, but I can't! If I do, I'll have to start all over again!

I thank You Lord for being with me in this moment. I thank You for I can feel Your presence around me and within me. I am not alone. I thank You for Your assurance. I thank You for Your promises. I thank You for the stars to remind me of the sweet loving words You told me those years. I will be healed in Jesus' Name, Amen!!!!

With this assurance, I'll go sleep.

Goodnite! God bless you and your family!

:)
tls

1st song : Sanctuary

2010-05-04T10:22:00.004+08:00

Hi,

As promised (well, not really a promised), I want to start blogging about songs that have touched my heart through the years and I think I will also include songs that are not sung in churches too because I feel that there are songs out there that touched my heart in other ways as I'm going through certain seasons in my life.

I used to love starting with this song when I used to worship lead because I feel this is the best song to kickstart the Praise & Worship session as we need to prepare our hearts to worship Him in spirit and in truth. Therefore I would like "Sanctuary" to be the first song that I would like to talk about.

This song was written by John Thompson and Randy Scruggs in 1982 and sung by Randy Rothwell from the album Be Magnified . I have always loved the simplicity of the melody and yet the grand nature of the lyrics of this song. It brings out the real need in us to seriously examine our hearts and ask God for forgiveness if there's anything in us that would hinder our time with the Lord as we give him our sacrifice of praise. We are indeed His Sanctuaries. :)

Here's the lyrics for the song :

Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary

Pure and holy, tried and true

With thanksgiving, I'll be a living

Sanctuary for You

That's it! All there is to that song! There are other versions that adds more lyrics to this song but I like it in its originality. It's a wonderful song to begin with when you worship lead and it's also a wonderful song to end with!

Here's a You Tube link of that song for you to listen to! :)

Hope that covers all the things I need to talk about this song! :p if you think there are any ways for me to make this be a better blog in terms of making it more appealing, let me know! :)

Have a good day! God bless you and your family! :)

It's begun!

2010-05-03T23:12:00.004+08:00

I wanted to write yesterday but I couldn't come up with anything because I felt vulnerable yesterday. I felt something but I did not want to acknowledge it. hhhhhmmm.. anyway, I have stopped gigging; stopped being involved in theatre; and just resigned from this music school which I have been working in the last 5 years! All because I feel like a new wave of difference is coming my way. I think the time has come for me. The time for me to fulfill my destiny. The time for the prophesies to come to past. The time for the word of wisdom to come to past.

I just wanna say I am so in love with God. I am so in love with Jesus Christ. I am so in love with the Holy Spirit. Some might find what I just said offensive. Seriously, I don't think you can have that against me. There are people out there who loves grotesque stuffs but we can't say anything about it because it means we are being close-minded. So I say this to you, if you find what I just said offensive. It only means you are close-minded! hehehe.. :p

okay, im gonna stop here. I wanted to write about Praise & Worship songs that has touched my heart. I think that's what I'm gonna do the next few blogs.. im gonna start bloging about these songs that has touched my heart! coolness!! till then (I'm not too sure when "then" is :p)

Good nite my dear reader. God bless you and your family.

blah blah..

2010-03-23T00:39:00.002+08:00

I want to blog about something but nothing's coming up in my head.

There's no reason to, as yet!

Oh, I am Perthing Wednesday onwards!! I get to see my brother, the Dewings, Zoie and all the other friends I met when I was there 4 months ago!

Good times!! :D

a good nite's sleep

2010-03-19T03:32:00.001+08:00

I am blanketed by Your warm lovingkindness.

I am pillowed by Your soft assurance.

I am lying on the bed of Your promises.

Goodnite my sweet love. Cant believe You are the lover of my soul.

Love you Jesus.

:)
tony

2010-03-04T02:47:00.002+08:00

Before i start, i just wanna say that the word "superficial" for the previous post has hit the wrong button. I used that word because among us in the LG, we knew food was not gonna change us. So that word is only applicable to our group, and only our group; not everyone else. Sorry if I offended any of you. Sincere apologies.

On another note, there's only four more shows of Bernarda Alba The Musical left. What this musical has taught me? Many things! Such as

- the appreciation of Spanish flamenco music. its beauty and grandeur in composition. Michael John LaChiusa, I salute you.

- being tyrannical is so wrong in so many ways and it normally gives a negative after-effect. All of us are tyrants in small or big ways in some or most parts of our lives (if you are not, then good for you). For the potrayal of how tyrany works; Federico Garcia Lorca, I salute you. I know your death is not in vain.

- women are to be appreciated for the things they have to go through in society now and those days. I salute you.

Good nite. and God bless! :)

Tis the season for Lent

2010-03-02T12:23:00.003+08:00

I've never really followed Lent and being in BLC has made me think about this event.

Yesterday at TWG, this Life Group that I'm joining now; we decided to fast from something that we are so used to and we have all agreed to fast from one common thing at least. It's not superficial like fasting off food or activity but something more difficult to do. It is to fast from talking bad, gossip about other people. I think it'll be interesting when Easter approaches on how each and everyone of us have faired in this.

We thought about fasting from complaining then we realised how difficult it will be! Lol!

To Greg, Soon Wei, Audrey, Mich Ding, Rachel and Beat, hope we do well..

God bless!

Blabber..

2010-02-27T01:01:00.002+08:00

What is it about love that makes or breaks?

What is it about love that leads us to do the things we desire or despise?

What is it about love that changes us inside out?

What is it about love that makes us hate someone so much?

I don't hate anyone. God forbid that.

What is it about love that makes me forgive too fast too soon?

People take that for granted. All the time.

On another note, you told me that you were upset I was hanging out with a friend who you think likes me when I assured you repeatedly that I only take her as a sister. The same situation happened the other way round. Yet, you are with him now.

Do you see me with her?

You are doing the very thing you thought I did to you.....to me.

I am alone.

It is!!!

2010-02-22T13:00:00.002+08:00

I feel so much more relaxed now. I feel so much more focused.

Certain questionable issues in my life are now in the memory closet.

They will serve as reminders for me. One day, they will be left untouched. Hopefully the dust of time will cover them.

I feel lighter too.

So it's confirmed! Those were the sun rays!! :D

What is that I see?

2010-02-15T18:33:00.003+08:00

What is that I see?

Is that sun rays seeping through the black clouds?

Its getting brighter again now.

I can see the path more clearly.

I feel like I want to move on!

That's good for I haven't felt that way in a long time.

I'm deciding too.

Wow!! 2010 is so far about being new.

Nice! :D

RIP my past

2010-02-08T00:36:00.002+08:00

Ultimatum Sunday.

That's what I called it. I did the unthinkable. I called her and said I wanted to meet her. I told her to meet me at the very place we met the first time and the very place we broke up.

She was kind enough to want to meet me.

Sunday 3pm. We met.

Pleasantries at first and then I told her my intention of meeting her. I told her that the past is haunting me and I needed to know where she stands.

It could go two ways. First posibility is that we'll be together again. Second, it'll be over for good. Either way will be good and beneficial to the both of us, in many ways except that, the second option would reward grieve with it.

It ended being the..... second option.

We talked abit more. She spoke; all those things she wanted to say to me those many months. I listened. What else could I do? We talked like friends after that for awhile. We said goodbyes and I know I will never ever get the chance to be with her again. She took the escalator and I was hoping she would look back; she didn't.

This chapter has closed. This story has ended. How do I feel? It's like attending your own funeral. That's the closest I could think of as comparison.

I hope she will find hapiness. I pray she will be blessed in everything that she does.

You will always be the girl who got away.

:'(

Should I get back to the past?

2010-02-02T04:01:00.002+08:00

I realise that the more I try to forget, the worst it gets. Everyone goes through that. Don't believe me? Remember the times when you hear this really horrible tune to a song that you really don't like but you still keep humming the tune? It's the same thing.

So what should one do then? Accept the fact that maybe the thing/person we wanna forget will never be forgotten and thus we should not even bother trying to forget? Or, we realise that we have to go through this cold turkey and hope as times passes by, the pain reduces?

I do realise too, that I have been quite "emo" these past few blogs. "Why?" you must be wondering innit? It's because I am trying to forget and the past keeps coming back at you. When I say past, I'm not talking about an event but a person. She has been special. I'll give her that.

I'm wondering should I give her a call and tell her that I want to start all over again or should I stick to my reason why I think I should not call her, which is I think it's unfair for her if I go back to her, because she has been trying to move on. :( I asked my friend Greg just now whether I should and he asked me back "Is she worth it?" I completely believe she's worth it. Then Greg asked, "would you continue back with her if she says yes?" I would sooooo happy!! Or should I not do all these and just hope for the best for her... and me?!

Okay, I'm getting sleepy di.. All of a sudden, I know! It hit me suddenly..

Good Morning my dear reader!

Sincerity

2010-01-26T02:53:00.002+08:00

I shouldn't write. Too much mess in my head!

I really wonder whether anyone is really sincere now-a-days as a friend.

Everyone's expecting something from someone.

I myself am not that good a friend.

I have done things in order to get back something in return, knowingly or unknowingly.

I'm sure you have too.

Goodnite!

Lyrics to no song.

2010-01-20T03:17:00.003+08:00

I have a reason on why I didn't write all these few days.
I just didn't want to.
I stopped myself.

This stage of life has affected me.
I even changed the way I look at things.
I'm not sure whether it's a good step.
I can eat alone now.
Physically affected too.

I still miss her.
I know she's moved on and waits no more for me.
If I return, it'll only be unfair to her.
Sighing is redundant.
How can I leave this lobby of uncertainty?

I have given up.
I don't need a song.
I don't need an advice.
It is a road I must take.

so not a player

2010-01-11T13:56:00.002+08:00

Many people think I can just approach any girls and start a conversation with them in a party or a social gathering. Actually, to be honest, I do not have such courage which I realised can only be found in fools and men who knows they carry the world upon their faces. I think you know what I mean by that. I can easily approach a friend or if friends introduce me to them, then yes, I can.

A girl that is charming to me is more than a girl who is beautiful and yet, if I see one in that situation, I would think a thousand different ways to approach her but then another thousand reason why I should not would crop up. I think the problem is rejection. I don't like being rejected. Malaysian women (tried and tested) would immediately think that a guy who approaches them in clubs or pubs immediately think that these guys are out to get into their skirts! So the first impression they have of you is to reject you the moment you approach them! That's why I never bothered in the first place to make myself go that low.

The reason I said this is because I have yet lost another good chance to go and talk to a really charming girl last night because of all the reasons that came to my head in why I should not go and talk to her. Sheeesh! Tony would you ever learn? -_-""""

the rights to the word..

2010-01-08T12:55:00.003+08:00

Have you seen how two little boys would fight over a toy? How they would say to each other, "This is mine!" "No, it's mine! You took it from me!" We've seen that so many times have we?

Imagine two other boys now. . One boy has always thought that it's okay to share things so when the other boy comes and ask him for the toy, he says "Yeah, play with it, I dont mind sharing.." and after 5 minutes later, the boy who owns that toy, came and said "Can i play with it now?" and that boy says "No, its mine now!" Imagine what would you do?

Now, imagine, another two more boys.. They are both playing a third boy's toy and they are both having fun and suddenly, one of the boys says "This is my toy. You cant use it!" The third boy has gone out with his parents. So what do you think the other boy should say? He would say "This is not your toy. Its for us to share, whats the problem here?" and that boy keeps on keeping it to himself saying "This is my toy!! You cant use it!! Its mine and will always be mine!" Image what would you do?

Now, replace the word "toy" with the word "God".. Im not gonna even bother using the other word.. -_-"""

I am ashamed to be branded the same nationality with the people who think they know what they are doing. I am ashamed that these people would fight for something they don't even practice properly. What is so wrong with sharing? Would God be upset?! Who are you to act for God? Don't you think He has hands?! Don't you think He could fight back?! Sheesh!

Those of you who think you are doing God a favor, you better be right! Eternal flames of hell is waiting for you if you are wrong!

kiddos!!

King

2010-01-06T12:45:00.002+08:00

There was a story about a kind and just king. He has always loved his people and he has always made sure everybody is taken care of in terms of food, clothing and shelter. He has always promises them things and actually go about realising these promises.

He has always come down and checked on his people using his servants and messengers. He helped his people when they are in need or are in trouble. Never failed, not even once!

A few hundred years goes by and all of a sudden, the people grew tired of Him and wanted another king to be over them. He was sad and really felt rejected. Nevertheless, He gave them what they wanted, a king.

When I read this today, I felt like I wanna hug You. I felt like I wanna pat2 You and go "Awwwww.." but I know, I have acted in the same manner as these people, the ones You still love to this day. They will always be Your special people as will I.

Please, help me not to request from You, another king.

You and only You will be my King forever.

The Best of Me in Me.

2010-01-05T00:02:00.002+08:00

This year certainly started with me having to deal with so much thoughts and emotions because of what happened recently. I thought I knew myself but boy was I wrong.

How do you know yourself when there is so many layers in you and these layers keeps on adding up day to day? Many people eventually gives up trying to understand themselves and resort to violence, sex, and other bad habits thinking that instead of trying to solve the problem, they should just forget that there is a problem.

I know that I have weaknesses, as any other normal person do; but I too have a strength, knowing that I can lean on His understanding and knowledge. I know that eventually, He would show me the reasons why certain things are allowed to happen. He has always wanted me to be the best of me. I am happy He is my Father, my Love and best of all, my Best Friend.

With this in mind, I smile; knowing that I can sleep well tonight, that Someone is watching over me. Sigh (with a smile).

Goodnite to you.

My heart goes out to all the soldiers today.

2010-01-03T23:51:00.003+08:00

It's the new year and I would like to have a resolution.

More posts for this year.

With that, I would like to start my first post for the year of 2010 by writing about soldiers.

To all the soldiers who are out there defending peace, my salute to you. My prayer for all of you today is that may the Lord protect you from evil and harm. May you get to see your sons and daughters grow, may you be able to live a long life.

To all the fallen soldiers who have protected our peace, no matter whose side you were on; as long as you have defended peace, I salute each and everyone of you.

I pray for your family. May they be blessed for they have given you for the safety of all of us. Their tears have brought us peace. The sacrifice they made God will never forget.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Bangkok Jazz Gig 28th and 29th Aug with 2Five1

2009-08-27T01:45:00.003+08:00

Hiya guys,

I will be singing for a fusion jazz band, 2Five1.

2Five1 consists of Ee Jeng on Piano and Keys, Wagner Daniel on Drums, Fook on Bass and Faz Aznam on Guitars.

I will be singing throughout except for 3 songs where I'll be playing the guitar! Can't wait because 1 is my own song entitled My Sanity (you could checkout the simplistic version of that song in myspace) and 2 John Mayer's songs which are Belief and I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You). I'm also excited about singing Sting's Inside, Seven Days and Englishman In New York (yes, I know, I'm Indian -_-"")

Anyway, here's the details :

Bangkok Jazz Restaurant,
Chulan Square, Jln Raja Chulan,
KL. (Opposite Pavilion)
28th and 29th August 2009 from 1020pm onwards.

Come see a different me this time.. I mean it..

Gudnite and God bless!

:)
TLS

RTM2 Hari Raya Indie Concert

2009-07-06T14:20:00.005+08:00

Hey guys,
I'll be having another performance this week on the 9th, 10th and 11th July. This is will be shown on RTM2 and will be recorded on the last day in an open area in Angkasapuri. For anyone who wants to get tickets to see the show, just let me know!

Details again:

Location: Padang Semarak, Angkasapuri

Date: 11 July 2009

Time: 8.30pm

i'll be playing two songs..

1. You

2. My Sanity

with a band comprising of:

Wel Loren - Guitar

Mozad - Bass

Wagner - Drums

Lim - Ghu Zheng

Segar Moses - Percussion

There'll be huge indie bands on the line up.

6ixth Sense
Grey Sky Morning
Hujan
One Buck Short
Bunkface
Tony Leo
Najwa
Deja Vodoo Spells
The Snow Symphony
Liyana Jazmay n Band

Tony Leo Selvaraj & The Bachelors

2009-06-15T11:59:00.005+08:00

Hi!!

I'll be performing at The Laundry this Thursday from 9.12pm onwards and I'm really excited about it because it's my first gig performing with a full band after nearly about 4 years! That means I could max out the songs completely since there's a full band!! eeeeeeee!! :*D

Here's the details..

Tony Leo will be singing his "babies" together with a completely brand new set of covers from John Mayer, Jamiroquai, Mojo with guest performances from

Malik Taufiq, Cleo Bachelor 2008
Stephanie Koh, one of the hard working Cleo girls
Ray Cheong, Cleo Bachelor 2009
Tisha Z,
Shen-Weng Koh, Cleo Bachelor 2009
Ruben Kelvin Cleo Bachelor 2009 &
Zalina Lee

backed up by musos such as
Ywenna Carolin on keys,
Wagner Daniel on drums,
Wel Loren on guitars &
Benjamin Manuel on bass.

Tony's excited about playing with a band again after such a long time and he hopes to see you there! :D

Checkout myspace for more details! :D its at www.myspace.com/tonyleoselvaraj

Bye now and see you there! :D

Wow! :p

2009-03-28T13:30:00.001+08:00

Wow!!

its been awhile!! hahahah.. im sure those of you who used to come and read would have been soo tired to come over to my blog this few months only to find out it has not been updated! hehehehee.. sowwwy! :p i really have no excuse! im just plain lazy i guesss.. :p

To Blog or Not To Blog

2008-10-09T01:47:00.004+08:00

Here I find myself at the very spot I told you I won't be in.

It's almost a month from my last post and I've got a few people who told me that they want to see me write more. I find it difficult to even have the blog at the back of my mind.. Who am I doing this for then? A lot has happened since the last post and all I can say is that life is such a merry-go-round for people who just can't stop and think about what's been happening in their lives.

I've been trying my best to stay up after breaking up with the most wonderful girl I've ever met and the both of us have been trying to move on. She said the other day that "instead of moving on, we have moved apart from each other " because of my refusal to drop the word "dear". Besides that, I've been accepted to be part of "A Christmas Carol" in KLPac but I've got so many bad dates sprinkled all over the schedule I hope the director would be forgiving. I know there will come a point in my life when I have to choose between Music or Theatre.

As for now, I'll just think about whether to blog or not to blog.

Gudnite to you my reader.

Sorry!!! :p

2008-09-10T13:01:00.003+08:00

LOL!!! I havent update my blog for such a long time!!! I owe to myself and to you and explanation.. (eh?? why should I explain to myself? )

The main reason why I haven't been updating my blog is because I never got the chance to go pay up my Maxis Internet bill because I got no money to pay up because I didn't do that much show because artists or productions couldn't pay me because I was doing Ismail The Last Days because I signed the contract in May because I got in because I decided to ask why I was not chosen in the first place because I didn't make the cut because somebody thought I was not up to par because..... because.... I still haven't know the reason until today... -_-""'

So now that I've gotten my pay for Ismail I have been able to pay alot of other bills too! haha.. :*D God is good init??!

So yeah, what I'm trying to say here is.... wait for the next update! (tony runs away from the laptop!!)

soooo long ago!!

2008-07-30T12:38:00.002+08:00

lol!! I am such a lazy person when it comes to blogging!! It was such a long long time ago that I wrote my last blog!! So many things has happened and I have just been too busy with the things that's been happening that I just didnt have time to write about the things that's been happening!

The last post was on the 3rd of July!! Gosh!! I'm sure I've lost some people who have just given up on my blog because everytime they come to my blog, nothing's been updated! Muahahaha!! Sorry! :p

Erm, here are things that happened to me since 3rd July, in no particular order.. :p :

-played guitars for Christie Boote and Juwita Suwito for One Life Revolution

-played for One Live Revolution with my own band, Whitewashed Friday

-played guitars for Juwita Suwito in Bangkok Jazz

-Ismail the Last Days had its press conference at KLPac

-went for a bbq, a birthday party, a gathering of CML patients

-had a stomping gig in Star Hill Gallery

-went for Hennessy Artistry's event at Mont Kiara

-went to watch The Edge the musical in KLPac

-went for an all-day workshop for CML support groups organised by The Max Foundation and Max Family

-still in Ismail's practice

and many other gritty thingies. hehehe.. yeah.. July was soo much fun! June was fun too! hehehe.. hopefully many more to come though August will be packed with Ismail the Last Days shows..

:)
tony

One Life Revolution

2008-07-03T11:23:00.005+08:00

Hi.. just as I talked about having no pics to blog, I suddenly realised that I might as well talk about future events that will be happening soon.

One event that will be taking place is One Life Revolution(OLR) which is an experiental exhibit that allows visitors to walk in the shoes of who endure extraordinary hardships because of HIV/AIDS and trafficking.

It is organised by the World Vision Malaysia. and they have a blog too! :p This event will be held at The Dream Center, DUMC, Section 13 (It's right behind Jaya33) from the 8th till 13th July 2008

This event will also be having various bands and performers coming to show their support by performing in an acoustic setting. Great music up for grabs, anyone? :p

How do i know about this event? It's because Juwita Suwito will be singing in this event as well. I will be playing guitars for her and she has also invited my Christian band, Whitewashed Friday to come and perform as well. :D

Whitewashed Friday will be performing on Saturday, 12th of July from 330pm to 430pm.

Just head on over the World Vision's website to know more about the event la. :p

Good day! :)

No pics no blog?

2008-07-03T11:12:00.000+08:00

Hi!!

I sooo wanna write about stuffs thats been happening with me at this point of time for soooo sooo many days already but the problem is sometimes, I just don't have the pictures to go along with what I want to write about.. apparently, people don't like blogs with no pictures in them! -_-"" anyway.. my personal opinion about that? I think it should be balanced. On some days, if you wanna write a blog with no pictures, just go ahead and do it! I think it becomes more personal in that way. The post will show a picture of who you, the owner of the blog, really are. What do you think?

Good day! ;p

Me and my health

2008-06-25T01:40:00.007+08:00

I've actualy told myself that I'm going to write a few things about CML in my new blog so that those who go through them (especially those who just found out and have no idea what it is all about (just like how I had to go and surf for information in the net when I first found out! hehehe:p))

Maybe I should write about how I came to know that I have CML first?

Maybe I should tell you first what is CML? hahaha.. (I'm sure some of you will be wondering by now "What is CML?")

Well.. I am actualy thinking about designing a t-shirt with the words "What is CML?" hehehehe.. :p

Well here goes something about CML (I'll try making it simple) :

CML stands for Chronic Myeloid (pronounced Mai-ye-loid) Leukaemia.

First generation of mutated genes.. :p

It is cancer of the blood where the blood has too many White Blood Cells (or in short WBC). The reason why there's too many WBCs is because they don't die a natural death and the bone marrow (the blood factory) continues producing WBCs and because there is so much space in the blood system, other components of the blood (the Red Blood Cells; RBC and platelets) don't get to be produced.

A mutated gene known as the Philadelphia chromosome (because it was found in Philadelphia.... duh!) causes this. It is actually a gene mixed from gene number 9 and 22 (I guess they like each other alot! -_-"")

This is how it split and join and transformed! :p

So yeah.. that's CML in a nutshell! :p You can say that I'm the first generation before the heroes of Heroes comes to the picture! hehehhee.. the White Blood Cells doesnt die.. too bad we don't have any other superpowers! :p

I'm gonna write about my experience so far with CML in the next few posts in terms of how I got to know about it, how I'm coping with it, how has the treatment been so far and all those things lar. :) Just keep on coming here to know more.

Gudnite dear reader! :)

2008-06-21T00:51:00.004+08:00

Guess what??! I had the privellege to work with a Ferrari Team the other day and of all circuits, it was at the MidValley Ring Road!! Our garage was none other than The Gardens!! Yeah!! Right smacked down, parked and ready to go on the Ground Floor!!

Im checking on the tyre temperature..

If you noticed, the car is slightly “blocked”.. thats because its actually a real life-sized Formula One Lego Car!! Yup!! Believe it! Its actually made with over 140,000 pieces of Lego built by 8 Lego Master Builders.. Now isn’t that a cool job description to tell someone when they ask you wat’s your job?

Person A: “Wat do you do mate? Im a doctor working for University Medical Centre.”

Person B: “Oh me? I work as a Lego Builder… we build Lego stuffs… yeah baby.. believe it… “

Anyway, here’s another 3 more pics of me doing nonsense that made sense.. :p yeah baby.. believe it! :p

Im changing the tyre as my other pit stop mates are having teh tarik -_-”"

Im trying to push the car but it won’t move! Then the driver realised that the brake’s still on! dayum! -_-”

Im asking the driver to do a hit and run at that guy over there with the pink guitar.

So yeah, what can I learn from my experience working with the team?

1. Drivers should wear a helmet whilst racing.

2. I should have worn a helmet as well because the sun can make me go darker.

3. We must have a bucket of matching Lego pieces just in case the car comes back with one or two pieces missing.

Goodnite, my reader… :)

Tony's Empire Strikes Back!!.... AGAIN!!

2008-06-21T00:35:00.003+08:00

Heya! Guess what??! I've to start all over again with a new blog on blogspot.com because wordpress is soooo inflexible about doing more... unless you pay for it.. grrrr... go open shop somewhere else lar! cheh! anyway.. I'm gona start this new blog and I'm hoping this is better than wordpress. Cheh! (eh?? cheh'ing' almost at the same place sumore! :p)

this was my previous first blog from valentony.wordpress.com :

"Erm.. yeah.. the headline doesnt sound good for my first blog after a long long time in a .. Okay.. i wont.. It does sound dirty though.. if u really think… erm… heh.. better not..

There’s always that thing about writing your first post as if it will be the shadow of things to come but I’m not really sure in the first place what to blog about unless I just wanna blog about what’s happening in my life….. hmmmm… (isn’t everyone doing just that in their blogs?!) oh no!! I don’t want to be usual… nor do I want to be unusual… it’s gonna be tough trying to sit on the fence but i’ll try anyway.. :p

It’s good to blog again..ecspecially after I get scolding after scolding from Linora.. :p here you go babe! thanks for pushing me.. well.. I think this will be my first……. blog..

Goodnite to you, my reader!"

Sooo.. yeah.. goodnite to you my reader! :p